Essay, Research Paper: Sex And Relationships

The study of sex and relationships from the past has grown considerably and continues to raise more questions for the future. It has been noted that since the ancient times, sexual frequency declines with age among "couples". In the book, "Sex and Relationships," by John P. Elia there is an interesting analogy of the decline of sexual frequency, "A decline in sexual frequency over the course of a relationship and over the course of one’s lifetime is probably one of those "sure" things in life - like death and taxes (ch.3 p.46) ." It is inevitable that sexual frequency declines between two human beings that have established a sexual relationship and will continue to do so. The decline in sexual frequency between two people involved in a relationship does not only apply to married couples, but also dating couples, gays, and lesbians. The decline of sexual intercourse is not an overnight syndrome where people just decide that they are going to be less sexually active, but is a process that takes time and involves many variables and internal factors.
The sexual frequency among newly married couples generally is higher than that of those whom have been married more than a year. Many books on sexuality and marriage have cited that young married couples in the United States engage in sexual intercourse about two to three times per week (Crooks & Baur, 1990; Hyde, 1990. These statistics could be a little off due to the fact that newly married couples might be engaging in sexual intercourse more frequently in hopes that the female may become pregnant. These are variables that sexologists must consider when they record their data and try to draw conclusions from. There is a phenomenon that has been called the "Honeymoon effect" that describes decline in sexual frequency may be the greatest during the first year of marriage. I can relate to this phenomenon even though I am not married. During the first year of my relationship with a female I find myself very intimate with my partner, and when the second year comes around I lose interest in the familiarity of sex with the same partner. The married couple begins to get into a routine with their spouses and find that they are losing their sense of sexuality. The sexual intercourse transforms itself from exploring each others sexuality to having sex just to release some stress. The couple then loses that bond that they established when they were first married.
The fable that is presented in "Sex and Relationships" about the president and his wife successfully illustrates the another problem that married couples face. The fable shows that sometimes people involved in relationships tend to lose that "sexual interest" in their partner. The other partner feels that their "better half" has lost their sexuality when in reality they would have their sexual frequency if it were a new experience (new partners).
As humans age they tend to get involved in other aspects of life that can distract or even replace their sexual interests. Blumstein and Schwartz were able to examine the effects of age on sexual frequency. "They found that for married couples the impact of age and duration of the relationship were approximately equal (Elia, Sex and Relationships)." As time goes on and married couples age, they also encounter health problems that can effect their sexual frequency. They also come upon physiological changes that can reduce sexual frequency such as a decrease in production of androgen, which is the hormone that is responsible for sexual interest in the opposite sex. Married couples also start families of their own and, it requires a lot more of their free time that must be dedicated to their children. Now they have less time for their own leisure because they have to look after their children (i.e. feeding, grooming, etc.). The time left at the end of a long day is considerably less compared to the amount of free time before they had children. The married couples find themselves fatigued and worn out. They are stressed out and when they go to bed they are more likely to just want to go to sleep instead of having sexual intercourse.
The decline of sexual frequency is like death and paying taxes in the sense that "it’s just gonna happen". We are all human and it is our nature to lose interest in everyday routine activities. It is inevitable that sexual frequency declines between two human beings that have established a sexual relationship and will continue to do so. Studies show that their is higher sexual frequency in newly married couples than couples married for more than a year. Studies also show that age is another factor that has negatively effected sexual frequency. Married couples that fertilize and have children find themselves giving more time to their children and less time for themselves and their spouse. The decline of sexual frequency is a long process that involves many factors, some that we have considered, others we have yet to discover.



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