“Virginity”

In biological terms men really don’t have a physical way to show or define their virginity, but in women the presence of a hymen is the clear indicator of virginity. However, there are some women who are born without a hymen, and there are others who are born with a thin hymen that can rupture through a variety of activities totally unrelated to sex, such as inserting a tampon. If these women don’t have hymens can they still be considered virgins?

Webster’s dictionary defines virginity as, “a person who has never had sexual intercourse.” (Webster’s Dictionary, Nichols Publishing Group, 1999. pg. 747) Older generations, such as my grandparents, define virginity as someone that has never been kissed or touched in any way, shape, or form sexually. However, in my opinion, virginity is innocence. Meaning someone that has not willingly participated in any sexual act(s). Only someone who has never been exposed to sexual contacts or acts should be considered a virgin. Anal and oral sex, in my opinion, are methods of losing your virginity.

For example, I know a girl who swears that she is still a virgin, but every guy that knows her knows that she freely gives oral sex. In Webster’s context she could still be considered a virgin, because she has not engaged in sexual intercourse. However, in my context she is not considered a virgin, because she has engaged in sexual acts.

Yet, there is another factor of virginity that must be dealt with. If a woman or a man has been raped or molested, she or he did not willingly engage in intercourse. I strongly feel that these people should be considered virgins until they feel they can give their virginity (innocence) to someone.

Something else to consider is homosexuality. For instance if two women have sex, can they still categorize themselves as virgins since they didn’t have intercourse. Under Webster’s and biological definitions they can still be considered virgins due to not actually having intercourse and no hymen breakage. Under my definition of virginity they can’t, due to partaking in sexual acts.

Another taboo subject

Masturbation, a word that sends any teenage boy’s mother running for the closet. If someone masturbates are they giving up their virginity? If we went by the biological definition of virginity, boys could still be considered virgins, while if girls broke their own hymen they would not. In my opinion, I feel that this falls in a gray area, such as human nature. It is only human nature to want to feel good, once we find out that sexual stimulation feels good, we desire sexual stimulation.

Virginity as a burden

Another factor about virginity to consider is virginity as a burden. To most teenage boys, virginity is a burden that must be left behind and disregarded as soon as you walk through the locker room doors, due to peer pressure. For teenage girls, in the eyes of older generation, it is a virtue that she must hang on to for dear life, preferably until the honeymoon. I feel that our definition of virginity deeply impacts the way how we lose our virginity today.

Under Webster’s definition, I feel that around forty percent of the population would still be considered virgins. Under my grandparents’ definition of virginity, nearly two percent would be considered a virgin. These social ideas have been installed throughout the generation—particularly the one regarding females.

Overall, I simply feel that today virginity has taken on different definitions, contexts, and meanings, than as to say forty years ago. I think today people aren’t as naïve and ignorant of sexual matters, but I feel that people are exploiting the term virginity, to fit their own lifestyle.

People are tiptoeing around the term by doing everything else but intercourse, hoping and anticipating that this will still keep them innocent. Innocence is lost once your sexual desire with another person takes on a physical form.

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