Essay, Research Paper: Divorce

Divorce is a very common thing now in the United States,
especially here in California. Within the last 20 years more and more people have
been getting married and quickly divorcing, now more than ever. The reason may be
for all sorts of reasons: Young marriage, Illegal Immigrants wanting citizenship,
Under the Influence, Irreconsilable differences, Abusive relationships and such.
Another reason why divorcing has considerably gone up since
back then is because it's so accessible now. Before it was virtually impossible to
even ask for a divorce. People thought that there must be something wrong with
you to try to escape from a marriage, that you were either scared or just plain silly.
They brushed your requests aside and told you to deal with it. There were also tons
of paperwork and questioning and time to be put into these processes. But now it's
so easy. All you have to do is go to a lawyer or family consultant and ask for help,
and depending on where you live you can automatically be granted a divorce with
no questions, like here in California. With a few conditions...you need to have a
notice of the divorce sent to the spouse by hand. Now if you're having trouble with
your spouse for instance he's been stalking you....oh by the way, restraining orders
have alot to do with divorce as well.
Ok, now so that you can see what I mean, let's say you're
husband has been beating you, and you now can't take it anymore and realize that
you deserve better, ( which you should've done a long time ago) so you tell the
police. Back then in the Olden Times, they would've asked for proof that he was
abusing you, but let's say that he was sneaky and made you put aloe vera lotion on
your wounds every time he hit you, then you'd be screwed! But now you don't need
that type of proof. If you feel that he has been harrassing you considerably enough,
or abusing you, you can file for a restraining order. And that'll keep the mean o'l
boogy monster away.
So now back to my first main point, if you have a restraining
order against a spouse and want to divorce them, you can have someone else give
the spousee the divorce statement. Now they can go to court and deal with it and
sign the papers or not. Because if they prove to be unwilling, then the divorce can
continue without their permission, just as long as they know about it. By any way
necessary: hand given, or an ad in the paper. And that's only if you don't know their
exact whereabouts. Divorce seems to be a very easy but yet tricky process now,
compared to before when you were questioned, doubted, strung along, ignored, and
rejected, it's worth it.
Divorce is a great thing! :0) Haha, but all kidding aside...having
a divorce is a serious thing. Now let's say you have a spouse who is willing to go
through a divorce. Well, looks like there's no problem there..but au contraire, there
is!
Now the problem would be, the finance and asset split-up. Who
gets what?! This takes months sometimes years to sort out. People often argue on
this and end up going to court and having a messy way of dealing with the problem.
Children are another scary thing to deal with at this point in time. Alot of people
say that the child should always be with the mother, but nowadays you can't be too
sure. You never know, the mother might be a drug addict selling almost anything for
money! The courts seem to have the raw end of the deal, having to figure out who's
suitable to take care of the child, and make sure that nothing disruptive to the child's
development or saftey is present to the child by a certain party. Sometimes the
family is fit to take care of them except on a different day basis, such as Joint
Custody.
Alot of families are separated by this matter, and seem to handle
this lifestyle just fine. It's just some families can't! Sometimes parents just don't get
along and fight constantly, or one parent steals the child just to get back at the
other. This leads to court dates, pain and unwanted settlements that aren't in either
parents favor. Children can be handed over to certain family members, such as
grandparents, or aunts and uncles. And in some cases, to the court, and placed in
homes.
Now the financial part of it is as sticky as a bucket of tar. While
you're going through the divorce process, your finances will still be somewhat
intertwined with those of your spouse. But once you have separated your finances,
you each can re-establish yourselves financially and set new goals. Divorce is never
the end of the world. It's just how you go about doing it that can be harsh. You need
to take time to breath and observe the water before you step in, don't just dive in,
you may hurt yourself in the process.
Now if you don't have children the better for the both of you. Then
you don't have to share the trama and heartache on another person. Children seem to
have it worse than the parents. Why? Because they don't know who they should be mad
at, or because they feel it's all their fault, or they feel that their life has collapsed and
don't know what to do about it. Stress overcomes them and they start acting FUNNY.
They become depressed, and shy and don't do well in school. They feel like if their
parents gave up, then why shouldn't they. I'ts kind of hard to say what might be going
on in their heads. That is why you should always be careful with how you deal with
children. They need constant moral support, and need to know that both parents still
love them.
Back then, people used to get married because they were in love, or
because the men wanted sex and the woman wouldn't do it without getting married first.
Which was tricky, but resulted in the couple resenting each other. The couple never
learned to really like and appreciate each other in the first place. As tricky as they were
they were still innocent. The innocence is lost now, because now they know their
options.
No matter which way you go, divorce is tough from all sides. I'ts
hard to pinpoint the good and bad. From drug dealer/deadbeat moms' to
abbusing/stalking fathers', you never know what you'll get or what you already have to
deal with. You just have to grind your teeth and bear it. Like I mentioned before it can
be very easy, not to contradict, but it can be a real stretch on the money wallet if ya'
know what I mean. Lawyers and such don't grow on trees. Live your life wisely and
listen to your heart and loved ones. They just might know what they're talking about.
You may save yourself a life full of trouble by steering clear of marriage. But hey who
am I to say what's good or bad, I'm just a teenager. If you want you can go on and get
married, but If it turns out to be sour don't come crying to me. I warned ya!