It was once said by a French poet by the name of Joseph Berchoux, "A poem never was worth a dinner." The French, ever so after the Nepolianic era, caught on to the euro-wave of fads and became the world center for food, housing restaurant after restaurant, inventing and improvising dishes and wine production for the public to gluttonize. If it wasn't for that smart baker in Paris who is credited with making the first "restaurat," a place where individual tables were set up and both food and drink were brought on order instead of cooking outside or having just a place for wine and one type of stew, France could have been just another country where one eats to live, not lives to eat. Like us cowboys in the West, chowing down on our cow and legumes while washing it down with Coca-Cola.

Primarily, la cuisine Francaise is divided into two factors of taste: the smooth and creamy, like cow's cream, cheese, pastry type deals, and the tart and full-bodied, like the meats and game, fruit, and lots of wine. In all of France, one sees that the core of any dish, no matter how complex, is based on the two factors. I will focus on the certain provinces to the north, south, west, and east, and try to show you how the geography and history of the people causes them to eat what they eat.

In the North: The province of Normandy houses a large population of mussels and oysters, spawning the forever popular, and ingenious, combination of cream and shellfish and wine. The rich hills provide great grazing for cattle and other dairy products a major industry of Normandy's. Being just across the Chunnel, (English terminology) or EuroTunnel, (European terminology) this part of France was affected by the bland, greasy, dairy bases that the U.K. had to offer, along with the gaming animals like duck. This brings us to possibly the most famous French bird dish, Duck with orange sauce, or canard a la bigarade. A duck is roasted than bombarded with both smooth and acidic flavors, smooth white wine and chunks of melted butter, with the juice and zest of Seville oranges, both complimenting each other to create a western favorite. Also, in this region, apples play a dominant role in desserts, such as custards and dumplings.

In the South: In the province of Languedoc, the largest in France, life is very different than in the north. French is even spoke rather differently, much more strange than a southern drawl, much more like 70's jive; super-southern French can have even the experienced French discussant stumbling. Here, the food shows the lifestyle of the early people who inhabited this part of the land hundreds of years in the past. The attitude of the menu tells us that, "Anything that can run away from us, we won't eat." The poorer variety of foods to eat are succulent and alluring, like wild mushrooms stuffed with goat cheese from gypsies, or slow-footed pork in stews or meager English meat pies. A prize recipe of the Langedoc coastal life is a creamy salt cod, the cream base creates a melded kiss with the tartness of the saltwater fish and parsley.

In the West: When dinosaurs roamed the earth in the very late crustacean period, this part of France was covered with water, in the limbo of time in-between Evolution and the theorized comet destruction of any really "intelligent" life on earth, the aqua sheet drew back and left hordes of little shell creatures like mussels and snails galore. Once the Frenchmen of Poitu and Charentes figured out how to cook up the lil' treats it became an integral part of their large varying diet. But one dish that is prepared just about infinitely, in methods and styles, the legs of a froggie, a sure to arouse a few bad looks and a swallow of saliva or two. Largely, in all of the east coast dishes we see garlic, the God of flavors of Europe, in all of the edible entities, (luckily not in the desserts!) and butter (love more in the desserts!). One of the finest inventions of the gastronomic department is the choice desert drink of the villa of Cognac, you know, X.O. Hennesy and Couvissier, a delicate expensive brandy that waters the mouth upon after taste. Besides wine and beer, it is one of the most "grow-a-taste-for-it" kind of liquor that exists.

In the East: Alsalce: where German and French tastes blend. Also, German and French tongues blend to form a dialect of German spoken along the border. The economical cuisine of sausage comes into play in this section of the country, you name it, goose, duck, chicken, mutton, boar, veggie, jam it into an intestine, season it up, serve it up with some French mustard and call it a meal. But, we forgot pork. Among the six billion people in the world, the French and German just happen to be considered the finest preparers of the world favorite pig. A popular dish is the preserved style of salty pork, a crucial part of the European diet before modern meat preservation. You can buy easily dried meats and serve this popular dish in the province. For finishers, we see for the first part, a big appearance by chocolate, the dessert food. The way they make chocolate cake over there is a crisp outer and a spongy, squishy, moist inner.

I mustn't forget to add to the list the great province of central France, Burgundy Home of Wine. Burgundy is unfairly blessed with the greatest animals and soil that France has, and some of the great chefs of the country. The atmospheres of the restaurants in the province do not have the social air of a class divided, (much like eating during the Revolution) Paris establishment, but the quality is equal. The pork is fab and the game is almost always served with wine. This is where to go for a real country French meal in a small, secluded bistro. Also dairy plays a big part as the smoothness of a dish in this sect. The invention of Dijon mustard was made in the province, a big part of our western sandwiches, a great pickup by the Americans; I suggest that we pick up on more French eatery fads!

France, in most,(and my) opinion is the epitome, the hierarchy, the zenith of all gastronomic adventures of life, the French pride themselves on that opinion. Across the plains of grass and vineyards, amidst the flowers and marble of the ancient countryside, and in the small kitchens of families, the proudness of the nation stands out in one of its best of many ways, the food and drink. All of the people who have or have had the privilege of eating in the country can lavish at the greatness of it all.

The sign at the baker's first restaurat:

"Come to me, all of you whose stomachs are in distress, I will restore you."