Sin, a monster, in and of its self, or is the monster the one who causes the sinner to commit the sin? One may contend that, in Confessions, the monster is neither of these but the sinner, himself. It is neither the sin nor the influence that is the monster but St. Augustine, himself, that is the monster. In order to establish who or what is the monster in Confessions, one must first establish the definition of a monster. Webster's Dictionary defines a monster as "one who deviates from normal or acceptable behavior or character." (p. 754) By this definition, one may define an obvious monster as an individual who commits an atrocity or another action contrary to the values that are held and set by a given society. Acceptable behavior and character are always left open to interpretation but in this case they are Valles 2defines as those that go against the standards of the Bible. Therefore, unacceptable behavior is anything that goes against those standards established in the bible, otherwise known as sins. But one must ask ones' self if it is the individual or the individual's sins that are monstrous? Also, one must ask one's self is sin alone be a monster or is the individual or action that causes or influences the sin to occur a monster? One of the main monsters in St. Augustine is his sin and enjoyment of his sin. We can see this through his sixteenth year, a year of idleness, lust, and adolescent mischief. The memory of stealing some pears prompts a deep probing of the motives and aims of sinful acts. St. Augustine says this of his acts, "a prisoner, making a show of a kind of truncated liberty, doing unpunished what [he] was not allowed to do and so producing a darkened image of omnipotence" (p. 49). In this passage, St. Augustine is describing himself as being a prisoner of sins and temptation. He was unable to control his urges to rebel and so did something that was wrong. Looking at hisstealing as a "rush", He began to find joy in what he did. He emphasizes this when he writes, "Our real pleasure was simply in doing something that was not allowed."(p.45) He Valles 3says that this thrill and rush of sin made him become to himself " a wasteland." (p. 52) Later, he begins to indulge himself in the pleasures of sex and sexual lust. This temptation of the physical pleasure of sex began to be a downfall in St. Augustine's life. He knew that the acts of sex and lust were considered sins, yet he desired for it and began to enjoy it. He thought of himself as "a prisoner" (p. 49) to this desire. He began to dwell on this desire and could not overcome this desire but enjoyed it at the same time. He writes, "Make me chaste and continent, but not yet. I was afraid that you might hear me too soon and cure me too soon from the disease of a lust which I preferred to be satisfied rather than extinguished." (p. 174) He points out that he enjoys what he is doing, yet knows it is wrong. He wants to continue to indulge in the pleasures of sins even though he knows them to be wrong. Another monster in Confessions is the Manicheans. We can see many different monsters in his years among the Manicheans. He says himself that the society cause him to sin through "varied lustful projects--sometimes publicly, by the teaching of what men style "the liberal arts"; sometimes secretly, under the false guise of religion." Valles 4(p. 71) This includes his teaching at Tagaste, his taking a mistress, and the attractions of astrology. The society caused his vanity. This society, of the Manicheans, was based on fame and it caused those within it to seek their own vanity. He says himself that he "was striving after the emptiness of popular fame, going so far as to seek theatrical applause, entering poetic contests, striving for the straw garlands and the vanity of theatricals and intemperate desires." (p.71) He also took a mistress during this time, which was accepted by the society. He admits to it when he states "in those years I had a mistress, to whom I was not joined in lawful marriage." (p.72) He also falls into the trap of this society to look for guidance in astrologers. Often in this society when an individual needed guidance they went to astrologers and St. Augustine did just that, he " consulted those other impostors, whom they call 'astrologers' [mathematicos], because they used no sacrifices and invoked the aid of no spirit for their divinations." (p. 73) St. Augustine was falling into the sin of the society and following the ideals and beliefs of the society in which he lives. But is this the society and influences of his sins the monster?

Valles 5The true monster in St. Augustine's Confessions is not the Manicheans or sin but St. Augustine. Augustine shows us examples of this in his childhood in Numidia, his licentious and riotous youth and early manhood in Carthage, Rome, and Milan, his continuous struggle with evil and his attempts to find an anchor for his faith among the Manicheans and the Neoplatonists. All through out Confessions, St. Augustine admits that he enjoys his actions and sins. He often times says that he doesn't want to stop. He admits that he " long to be satisfied with worldly things, and I dared to grow wild in a succession of various and shadowy loves." (p. 43) He wanted to indulge himself with sin and he knew it was wrong, yet he didn't want to stop in the near future. He says "Make me chaste and continent, but not yet. I was afraid that you might hear me too soon and cure me too soon from the disease of a lust which I preferred to be satisfied rather than extinguished." (p. 174) He wants to be changed but not until he finishes in indulging in his sins as a youth. This shows that is not the sin that is the monster but the man who willfully indulges in it for pleasure. St. Augustine realizes his sin and chooses to continue to sin because he takes pleasure in it. Valles 6Augustine, however, is an example of how a monster can realize their monstrous actions and pull himself out of the activities that cause this. Augustine was a monster throughout the early part of his life but in the end redeems himself in many different ways. The ultimate way of redeeming ones self is to recognize their actions and be repentant of those actions. We can see that Augustine does this through out the story. He realizes that he has been corrupt in Gods eyes when he says "I became corrupt in thy eyes, yet I was still pleasing to my own eyes--and eager to please the eyes of men." He realizes that he has done wrong and needs to change his ways. The actions that he committed also lead to an ultimate good, his conversion to Christianity late in his life and the end of his self-destruction. There are many different contributors to St. Augustine's sins. They all have their own influences, pressures and evils but the true monster in Confessions is St. Augustine. He chooses to follow the ways of the society and indulges himself in the sins that he committed, therefore, making him responsible for his own actions.