Looking for Happiness

In 1993, I decided to get married. In 1997 I decided to get divorced. While marriage and divorce are completely opposite occasions, in a few significant ways, getting a divorce is like getting married. Goals, expenses, and feelings are three comparable aspects of marriage and divorce.

The goals that I had are the first comparable aspect of marriage and divorce. Before getting married, I remember thinking my wedding day was going to be the happiest day of my life. I was looking so forward to settling down and spending the rest of my life with the one that I loved, my wife. In the end, I just wanted to happy. My goals while getting divorced stayed the same. The day that the divorce was finalized was the happiest day of my life. I just wanted to get away from the past mistakes and start getting on with my life with the one that I love, myself. My most important goal to this day is to just be happy everyday.

The expenses that go into getting a divorce are a lot like the costs that go into getting married. The wedding dress, tuxedos, and invitations are a few of the items that have to be financed before the wedding even begins. Paying for the actual marriage license, handling the cost of the wedding reception and financing a new home are more expenses that come after the union. Expenses that come with the divorce are similar. Splitting up all the household possessions that have been accumulated over the years was the most difficult. The house itself, vehicles, and actual money in the bank were all issues that had to be taken care of. Legal costs were also very expensive. Buying that divorce certificate cost a whole lot more than the marriage license. Another expense after the divorce was the freedom party. Of all the money I ended up spending for both events, the freedom party was the most enjoyable, I think.

I experienced several different feelings during my marriage that were very similar to the emotions I had while getting divorced. Before the marriage, I remember being so nervous, wondering if I was doing the right thing. While standing at the ceremony, I recall how happy the whole moment was, and thinking that I was indeed doing the right thing. After the marriage ceremony, I felt a complete sense of relief that it was all finally over, and we could now get on with our lives. My feelings while going through the divorce were like a replay in my mind. I remember hoping that I was really making the right decision this time. While strenuously trying to convince my soon to be ex-wife to sign the divorce papers, I vividly recall that getting this divorce was the best move I could ever make. I had never been as relieved in my life as when the divorce was finalized. Now I could get back to what was important, getting on with my life.

Looking back on the whole experience, I have no regrets. I learned a lot about myself during my marriage. I have learned a whole lot more since my divorce. Throughout both ordeals, I still have only one long-term goal; to be happy.